Scouts on the Outs!

We’ve got news that it is over between the much vaunted celebrity anarchist couple. Wednesday marked the end of a fairytale romance that started with online flirting in May, was consummated in mid-June when Urban Scout (25) flew to Penny Scout’s hometown in nowheresville Pennsylvania where the pair met for the first time, and furthered when Penny Scout (25) quit her job in July and booked it across the country on a record breaking three-day Virginia Slim fueled road trip. “I don’t usually smoke.” she said in an interview last month, “They made my hands go numb for, like, 24 hours.”

Everything seemed fine last week when the couple made an appearance at a Tracker’s Northwest children’s camp where a group of kids had just traveled up the Columbia river in a homemade whaling boat with a makeshift sail and were chowing down on pit steamed goat. “I thought they had a great rapport,” commented TNW founder Tony Deis. “I was going to invite them to help out with our A-Team camp next season.”

But recently Penny has been spotted picking up tacos at the couples favorite eatery, LaBonita…alone. On Tuesday she was seen ripping the waves and listening to raps with Brandon Swarthout star of the upcoming Brandon Swarthout Adventure Program. “Nothing’s going on between them. They’re just good friends,” states Penny’s publicist. Later in the week the Scouts appeared together in their iconic primitive wear at Portland’s Last Thursday. Urban Scout sported his usual loincloth while Penny had on a new rabbit fur skirt that she paired with gold flip-flops and a wife beater. Bystanders noted their manner towards each other was cordial yet reserved. As they worked the crowd “Penny seemed to be checking out even more hot hipster chicks than Urban!” noted one observer. Or maybe she was just looking at their outfits? “People here just have cooler clothes and haircuts, [than in Pennsylvania] but they aren’t that good looking,” Penny lamented last week to Impeach Portland reporter Lisa Wells, causing a bit of a huff.

What’s the reason for the split? “She just wasn’t meeting his needs,” says a close friend of Scout. “He likes outgoing girls. They work really well as creative partners, but honestly? I don’t think he was ready for a new relationship.” Not so, says another aquaintance, “It was obviously never going to work out. She’s too tall for him.”

How is Penny taking the news? A source close to Miss Scout says, “It’s not like she didn’t know what she was getting into. He’s been honest from the beginning, but she’s still taking it pretty hard.” Fans have spotted her on 9th Avenue breaking her hardcore dedication to the paleo diet by scarfing down an entire can of almond dessert pastry filling. A friend of the family says conspiratorially, “I think it’s for the best. He wasn’t really meeting her needs either, if you know what I mean.”

What’s next for the exes? Urban Scout who gave up drinking in mid-July after a nasty run in with a sidewalk is sticking close to home, working on his blog, cooking, gardening, and doing everything he can to take down civilization. Interestingly, country girl Penny has decided, at least for now, to stay in Portland. She’s been checking Craigslist for a trailer to stay in. “I feel like I’ve been adopted into a gypsy tribe,” says Penny who has become an integral part of Urban Scout’s social network and the larger Portland primitive scene. “These Rewilders can be so exclusive. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a fraud, like I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this good fortune. But it’s great. It’s really great.” We’re guessing Penny and Urban will remain close friends….in a we’re-scout-brother-and-scout-sister-but-I’d-still-like-to- sleep-with-you sort of way!